It's People

My last two blogs are just part of what I've been thinking lately. And by lately I mean the past couple of years.

In my single life, I would leave about 7AM to walk to work. I had plans most nights and would get home just in time to go to bed an start over the next day. I had lots of amazing friends and there was always something to do. Being social has always been a big part of my life.

I remember after my freshman year in college I was thinking about all the fun people I'd met that year. My world had just been opened up from my little high school bubble. I remember saying to a friend, "I am so thankful for all of the people in the world that I don't know." What I meant was, knowing how the new people I had met during the year had enriched my life, I was excited about all the people I had yet to meet. I loved having that perspective.

One year in college, my roommates and I had the motto, "It's people." That meant that no matter what else we thought was important, it wasn't as important as the people in our lives. I remember the day we came up with it. We were going around our apartment saying, "It's not this book, it's people. It's not the lamp, or the TV, or my car. It's people." What a great perspective on life. I've lost that somewhere along the way.

I have had a hard time connecting with people since I've been married. I've also lost connection with a lot of people I love. We always say we'll get together, then don't. I think there are many reasons for this. First, I love spending time with Rick. I never get tired of it. The more I'm with him, the more I enjoy being with him. (Cheesy, huh?) But I need to remember that my life will be enriched by added diversity. I need to expand.

My peers changed drastically when I got married. I went from the single scene with a bunch of high-powered friends who traveled and went out every night, to suburbia where everyone has been married since they were in their 20s and had families. That was harder for me than I thought. They all had family life mastered and I was drowning trying to figure it out. I'm sure I could have used their help and advice, but mostly I just felt out of place and depressed.

Another reason for my social-less-ness has been my stress level. I've had a steady stream of health issues the past 3-4 years. That plus the stress of going from single girl to being a working mother has made balancing my time difficult. I'm gone most of the day at work, come home, clean the kitchen, fix dinner, clean the kitchen again, and crash. Weekends are for errands and hopefully a date with my hubby. Try to fit in exercise and extended family, and I'm pooped!

So... enough with the excuses. It seems the health issues continue. One ends, another starts. Maybe this will just be my life after 40. I'm old an falling apart. I am learning to disconnect my physical well being with my emotional/mental well being. Time to drink a bottle of suck-it-up and not let it hold me back. I'm also getting better at balancing my time, or to put it more precisely, not care that everything isn't getting done. I can have friends over for game night even if my kitchen floor hasn't been mopped. It's people, not my floor, that matter.

Rick and I set a goal to entertain at least once a month. This will be old friends as well as new people we'd like to get to know better. We made the effort this month, but friends schedules didn't work out at the last minute. Not giving up. Looking forward to it. It's people!